A Blessing, Victory
For a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories.
-Plato
A Blessing, Starlight
When it's dark enough, you can see the stars. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
A Blessing, Peace
be easy.
take your time.
you are coming
home.
to yourself.
-the becoming | wing
nayyirah waheed
The Art of Being Human
Volunteers working on hundreds of Amazon donations received at Austin Pets Alive.
“We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.”
This month has been a particularly difficult one. I've spent a good portion of it feeling outraged, sorrowful, hurt, disappointed, and confused. The events of the last few weeks beginning in Charlottesville and what played out on the national stage to the recent devastation from Hurricane Harvey have weighed heavily. The emotional, physical, mental and spiritual trauma of injustice and displacement leave its mark. To belittle and strip humans of their inherent dignity and worth is wrong. It's beyond wrong, it's evil. To lose one's home and sense of safety is distressing and overwhelming. It's traumatizing.
“To belittle and strip humans of their inherent dignity and worth is wrong. It’s beyond wrong, it’s evil.
To lose one’s home and sense of safety is distressing and overwhelming. It’s traumatizing.”
As a counselor, I face stories of evil and trauma often. It's not easy for me but why I do what I do, how I can do what I do, is because of what my clients bring. Their resilience, their courage, their willingness to fight the lies and fight for restoration to find their voice, their freedom, their meaning is something to behold. I often don't feel worthy of this work but am greatly aware of its privilege. My clients show me what it is to be human in all its beauty, glory, sacrifice and triumph.
“My clients show me what it is to be human in all its beauty, glory, sacrifice, and triumph.”
Earlier this week, I witnessed on a larger scale what it means to be human. My city and fellow Texans fulfilling the command to love one's neighbor. I feel inspired, encouraged, and amazed by seeing others seek to restore and speak into sorrow through whatever means possible. Yesterday, my sister and I arrived at Austin Pets Alive to see scores of volunteers organizing the hundreds of donated boxes that carried much-needed supplies to care for the 300+ animals that needed shelter.
We went to Costco and you could feel it in the air: this powerful sense of taking up the cause because our fellow humans, though strangers to us, need us. So there I am in Costco inspired by the carts filled with bulk items waiting to be driven across cities along the coast just because that's what it means to participate in this being human. It means caring about others' misfortune and their plight. It means taking up the banner on their behalf. And while there are many who would seek to destroy, there are many more who make it their mission to build up.
“What it means to be human: caring about others’ misfortune and their plight, taking up the banner on their behalf.
And while there are many who would seek to destroy, there are many more who make it their mission to build up.”
I am well aware that often times we rise to the challenge when we see humanity threatened and then easily return to states of selfish preoccupation. I'm well aware that across this country and countries over, there is horror occurring with little being done. I'm well aware that this post doesn't change the hate that was spoken (still spoken) and experienced or that highlighting local acts of kindness doesn't change that there is real suffering. This post isn't meant to minimize the pain.
In moments like this, when we're in crisis, I think it necessary to see what human agency is capable of (both for harm and for blessing). It's necessary that when we feel helpless and powerless to consider what is within our personal, social and cultural jurisdiction and ask what one's contribution is. How can your voice reflect what it means to be human and what action will it lead you towards?
I am confident goodness has the final say. So let us be a people and community that uses our words for this important conversation.
{if you have not yet been able to contribute for Hurricane Harvey relief, please take some time to consider how you might be able to donate. Even looking around your pantry and giving your non-perishable food items will go a long way! I've included links above for ways you can help.}
A Blessing, In Process
You're going to have to leap before you're ready and that's okay. It's okay to feel uncomfortable. It's okay to be unfinished. You won't know your boundaries until you cross them, and the same goes for your limits. You'll make mistakes and then you'll find your way again, and that's the beauty of your journey.
-Kristin Lohr
Our Shadow Side
“It intrigues me that great success is this brilliant light, but also every brilliant light creates a dark shadow. I think wisdom only comes when you can navigate both.”
If you've spent much time with me via this blog, you're well familiar with my philosophy that we learn to hide/cast away parts of us (personality traits, emotions, desires) that have been directly or indirectly deemed unacceptable. Those unacceptable parts are shamed deeply affecting our mental and emotional health. This collection of cast offs results in the formation of the shadow. What Carl Jung describes as the "dark" side of being human.
We decide that we only present the respectable part of our personality and hide the socially unacceptable parts of us which ultimately gets buried in our unconscious.
No one is without their own shadow. But the difference is one's awareness of their shadow.
If we're not aware of what is happening within, it contributes to "self destructive behaviors so many individuals struggle with and are unable to control despite consciously knowing they would be better off not engaging in such actions...The task in life which thus confronts everyone is to become conscious of and integrate one’s shadow into one’s conscious personality: accepting it with open arms not as an abhorrent aspect of one’s self, but as a necessary and vital part of one’s being." (Academy of Ideas)
Way easier said than done. I am aware. I've said it before and I'll continue to say it: this process is not for the faint of heart. You must truly long for wholeness because only then will you work towards it. Many are unwilling. And they settle for an unexamined life becoming shells.
“We must be willing to see ourselves as we really are, not someone we assume or fantasize of being.”
However, for those who dare venture to look they'll discover the shadow isn't all bad as we would like to believe (it would be easier if it was because it would justify keeping it in the basement). Recall that we hide any part of us that isn't acceptable to others. These can be positive traits: sensitivity, compassion, creativity, intellect, the list goes on. These aspects that would "lead to greater wholeness and harmony" are met with condemnation from others (family, peers, society) and in order to belong, away they went.
“When positive traits are relegated to the shadow, one is by necessity less than one could be...growth of the individual becomes blocked, and life becomes sterile. ”
In order to grow, we must accept those parts we've been afraid to recognize. Growth requires more than mere acknowledgement or awareness. We must be willing to see ourselves as we really are, not someone we assume or fantasize of being. Take an honest assessment. And that's where the real growth can begin take root. As you become aware, you can then internally negotiate which parts lead to wholeness and which parts detract. Because they are no longer hidden, you are able to determine what and who you want to be. You are not bound by the fear of what might be hidden in the shadows because you've taken your flashlight and revealed the truth.
This is why you will hear therapist after therapist describe their clients as some of the most courageous people they know. They risk for the sake of growth and truly living an engaged and present life.
Will you join their ranks?
