“Reality is your friend and sometimes your friend is ugly.” My friend Jeremy says this often. Sometimes reality suits us and other times it’s a nightmare. One of the most impactful skills in my own life and the lives of my clients is learning to radically accept what is happening. (The following is from a training I attended led by Lane Pederson, Psy.D, LP, DBTC)
We all have choices to make when life is painful including:
Change painful situations when you can
Shift your perspective of the situation
Radically accept the situation
Continue to suffer
What does it look like to radically accept? You have a choice (taking responsibility for your situation even if you did not cause/create it) to meet reality exactly where its at. Acceptance does NOT mean I have to 1) like the situation or 2) agree with it. It means I do not fight reality.
Radical Acceptance:
Freedom from suffering requires acceptance of “what is”
Acceptance may still mean tolerating pain
Acceptance frees psychological and emotional resources to move forward
If we refuse to accept reality, we expend much energy in our resistance. Acceptance is about empowerment to free up psychological resources in order to heal. The gift we can all give to ourselves.
